Business Words Of The Week

In each Own It!! podcast, Nicola and Judith discuss their chosen Business Word Of The Week for that particular week.

Here are their words for Episode 003 of the Own It!! podcast:

Judith:  

My word of the week this week, Nicola, is Christmas.

Nicola:

The C word.

Judith:   

Yeah, the C word. I’m a serial hater of Christmas. I’m 59, I’ve hated it since I was about 15. It’s quite a long time. I don’t look forward to it, and I’m a right Grinch and a “bah humbug” about it. Frankly, my gift to myself would be to stay at home by myself, but that’s not really allowed. Yet, why not? This year I’ve changed my mind. Flushed with success about something I did about changing my mind about when the clocks go back. Then deciding not to buy into all that misery about how dark it is at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

This year, I decided to like Christmas. It’s a deliberate choice. It’s learned behaviour. I’m not there yet. I can slink back in to Grinch very easily, but nice things have happened since I decided to like Christmas. My brother and his family have invited me out to a service of carols in Southwark Cathedral in London, which is a beautiful cathedral on London Bridge. Out for dinner in Borough Market afterward, which is deeply trendy. Just nice things have been happening since I decided to just decided to take the pressure off it and stop being such an old curmudgeon, really.

I think the point of this is not Christmas so much. It’s just changing your mind about stuff that you’ve … You’re just sick and tired of boring yourself with it for decades, do you know what mean?

Nicola:  

Yeah, does the word Christmas have meaning attached to it for you, Judith? That comes from feelings that arise from events that happened previously in your life?

Judith:

Yes, yeah. My mother didn’t like it. Yeah, it does. It’s decades of misery and family rowing, really. It’s not really that my family are difficult. They’re no different than anybody else’s family. It’s just, I think it presents a lot of special challenges. I think at the root of it is we all want to believe at Christmastime that we belong to the ideal family. We don’t, and that’s disappointing.

Nicola:  

Yeah, that ideal family probably isn’t out there anywhere.

Judith:  

No.

Nicola:  

But we’re all operating under that illusion.

Judith:  

Yeah, it’s not, but I think you could change your mind about it. For instance, instead of being a curmudgeon and saying, “What I really want to do is get home by myself in peace and quiet,” is saying, “I’m very, very, grateful that I’ve got a loving family that really want me to be with them, so I’m going to go be with them. That’s my gift to them this Christmas.” Rather than being selfish and having a 365th day to myself, I will give my day to somebody else.

Maybe that’s precisely what Christmas is about when you’re old. I don’t need any more stuff. I’m not old, but you know me. When you’re older, maybe it’s about actions rather than presents.

Nicola:  

Yes, I’ve realised the last few years have been about accepting change for me. Obviously, Phoebes and Nelson. I loved Christmas when they were young. It gave me an opportunity to dive back into it and make their Christmases nicer than mine ever seemed to have been. I love that, but they’re growing up now. They’re wonderful, wonderful people, and they do want to spent Christmas day with me, but it’s now more difficult. There’s none of that magic.

Judith:  

I know.

Nicola:   

Pretending, Santa Claus, and things like that.

Judith:    

I think that’s it, yes. I’ve said in the blog and I’m sure you’ve read it. That when I’m great-aunt Judith, as opposed to just aunt Judith. When the Morgans have little people again who believe in Santa, then the magic returns. It’s all about the belief in Santa. Once they get to eight or ten, you’re really spending Christmas with a bunch of cynical adults who are looking forward to a Game Boy.

Nicola: 

The other thing that Christmas does for me, it brings out the echo of scarcity feelings, you know? I went through so many years dreading it. The C word would actually put physical financial dread into me, because it was a big expenditure. Especially when you’ve got a family. I’ve had to learn to overcome that. It’s funny, because the kids coming to me, they don’t … Nelson said to me the other day, “Do we really have to have Turkey?” But if we don’t have Turkey it won’t feel like Christmas.

Judith:

Well, maybe that’s a good.

Nicola: 

Yeah, I suppose so. Then in the evening, they’ve got this habit of saying, “Oh, can a few of our friends pop around, mum?” I’m in the centre of town and everyone knows I love lots of teens around, but then it’ll turn into a right old knees up, and who knows where it will go from there?

Judith:  

That doesn’t sound too bad either, Nicola! I think that you’ve got … There’s a good example. If other teenagers want to come to your house, then you’re doing something right.

Nicola:

Well, they always want to come to my house because I just love their company. I really do. For me, it’s about adjusting my learned associations with the word and trying to create a new Christmas going forward.

Judith:   

Yeah, just changing our minds and being open, I think, too – taking a different format. I’m with Nelson, let’s not have turkey.

Nicola: 

For me, I like to cook, but there are certain things that I know can cook well. Turkey’s one of them.

Judith:

Turkey’s one of them. Fair enough.

Nicola:  

Apart from the year the knob dropped off the oven, in which case I had no idea what temperature it was and how to read it. Having said that, that was always better than my mother’s… I would say heights or depths… I’m not sure whether she actually cooked the turkey with a tea towel inside it – It was dry as a bone. Dry.

Judith: 

That sounds terrible.

Nicola: 

Well, my word of the week, Judith, is energy. I don’t know why I wrote it down, really. I’m feeling all weird about it now I’m looking at it, because I’m noticing that I don’t have as much energy as I used to. I used to think of myself as an unstoppable machine. I remember that, and I hope you don’t mind me bringing this up. That you are slightly older than me. I remember when we were working together in the Money Gym, you used to talk about your energy levels and things. You were much more careful to conserve your energy than I was in those days. Well, I’m feeling more like you now. That I need to conserve my energy and I need to be aware of my energy levels and what drains them. What fills them up again.

Judith:     

Yes.

Nicola:  

It’s interesting, because I came back from Inspire thing, and I felt completely … You know how I used to come back from speaking gigs and be completely… It was almost like jet lag for a couple of days.

Judith:  

Yes.

Nicola:  

Well, I came back from that one and I felt completely wonderful, and inspired, and uplifted. That was an interesting experience.

Judith:   

Yeah, maybe the trick is not to do them as often as we used to.

Nicola:  

Yeah, but I think generally I’m just becoming more aware of my own energy levels and what supports that, but you’ve become much more in touch with that sort of thing, haven’t you?

Judith: 

Well, I think it is do with age. You’re right, actually. I think I’m five years older than you or something like that?

Nicola: 

Yeah, that’s what I said

Judith:

Quite a lot of my friends and colleagues are younger than me, so it’s quite difficult to be the person who’s always ahead. I’m the first born, so I went through everything before my brother did. You’re always the pioneer, you’re always learning this stuff. You don’t choose to have less energy, you just realise in your 50s you can’t do as much as you used to. You have to prioritise using your energy, which is your most vital resource, on things that really deserve it.

Nicola:  

Yeah, and I think we’re very, very, lucky, because we can choose how to spend our days. When I went to London a couple of weeks ago, I came back on Friday night and I had to stand up all the way home. I remember when I used to commute and it was two hours door to door from Worthing to the West End, each way. Twice a day. I just took it completely in my stride. But I stood on this train, standing up, all the way from Victoria to Shoreham-on-Sea, and I thought, “I don’t know how these people do this every day.” I really don’t. We’re very lucky to be able to spend our time doing what we want to.

Judith:    

I think it’s about our life force and I think what happens when you get older, actually, is not so much that you can’t do as much as you used to, you just get more careful about what to use that life force on. Standing up in a commuter train would not be one of them, Nicola.

Nicola: 

It wouldn’t, and I don’t intend to do it again in the near future!

What do you think of this week’s Business Words Of The Week that we’ve chosen?

What would yours be?

Let us know in the comments!