In each Own It!! podcast, Nicola and Judith discuss their chosen Business Word Of The Week for that particular week.
Their words for Episode 023 of the Own It!! podcast are Luck & Tolerations:
Judith: Uh, it’s LUCK, in keeping with my prize draw.
Judith: And when I looked at my crib sheet this morning, it said Word of the Week: LUCK—and I think it’s a very dangerous word, because I think that it’s giving a bit of—I love all the thought, “What on earth was I thinking when I wrote that down?” And so I’ve had to do a little bit of thinking around it this morning. I can remember times in my life where I’ve not been lucky—I’ve been unlucky. My first flat that I bought was in a flood zone, flooded three times before I can get insurance anymore and decided to move on, and various things like that. The brand new car I bought broke down the first night I bought it. That was a phase in my life where I wasn’t a lucky person, and I think it’s very important to notice and acknowledge when lucky things—lucky things do happen to you. Like, another way of looking at luck is Good Fortune. Am I a person that fortune smiles upon? And to cultivate it, really.
There’s a book by Richard Wiseman about a—it’s called “The Luck…” something. People who—and Paul McKenna’s books say this—people who are lucky think of themselves as lucky and know they’re lucky attract more luck. It’s kind of a—in your DNA, your operating system, and I occasionally come across clients who are jammy. And I said, “Ooh you’re quite jammy, aren’t you?”—which just means good things turn up, and it’s just that a thing they know about themselves; that they’ve been very fortunate, they’re lucky, they’re jammy, and things show up in their lives. So I think it’s something that’s worth examining. If you catch yourself noticing, “Oh I never win, hmm never win, it’s never me,”—you know, that’s something that you can turn around as well. You know, there’s that great saying that’s been attributed to about 4 different people about “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” That is one way of becoming—that’s one way of becoming lucky, that it’s not the only way of becoming lucky. And so I try to notice whenever wonderful things happen and say, “Aren’t I lucky?”
Nicola: I think it’s a very dangerous word, because I think that it’s giving a bit of—I love all the things you’ve said about it by the way. You know, the whole thing about, “I’m lucky and you attract more luck,” and all that stuff. I’m sure that’s true on a very physical—no, you know, Quantum Physics kind of level.
Nicola: And the other thing is, there’s a great book called, “Learned Optimism” which is one of
Judith: Seligman, yes. I’ve read that, yeah.
Nicola: And really awesome, and how important it is; especially if you’ve got children, because children tend to inherit their optimism, pessimism from their main carer, and their attitude.
Nicola: So how important it is if you’ve got kids to really work on your own attitude; but I feel somehow that by even using the word, you’re giving up an element of control about your reactions to things and outcomes to things, because it’s sort of putting it out there beyond you, somehow.
Judith: I hear what you’re saying. I don’t agree, but I hear what you’re saying.
Nicola: [Laughter] Well, we agree to disagree on this one.
Judith: I acknowledge your world view. I acknowledge your world view, Nicola.
Nicola: Yes, but that’s not the truth for you. [Laughter]
Judith: No. All I’m saying is, I think you can cultivate it.
Nicola: Well, I…
Judith: And that’s what Learned Optimism is about, isn’t it?
Judith: About cultivating; cultivating good outcomes.
Nicola: An attitude of expecting good outcomes which definitely…
Nicola: We know, we know when our Quantum Physics level definitely makes stuff happen.
Judith: Yes, yes.
Nicola: Well see, I don’t—I don’t see… when talking about your flat and talking about your car
Judith: The luck element—the luck element is that: when I went to buy a new car—let’s say breaking down—your car breaking down particularly—that is not something to do with luck there. It was just a mechanical failure; we’re going into being a human. they sold 12 that day, I got the duff one. And there was a definite phase in my life where everything turned to SH1T most of the time, and I would look back and say, “That was a place where if it could go wrong, it did. And in other stages of my life, the opposite: if it could go right, it did.” And what I‘m interested in exploring is to the extent that I created that reality or not, or was part of it.
Nicola: Yes, yes. I think we do, because I definitely had a period when everything went wrong as well, and I knew it continued for quite a while after I changed my attitude.
Nicola: But then as a friend of mine always says, “SHIT travels at a speed of SHIT”—and that’s pretty slow. So there’s always a bit of a lag between when you change your attitude and start giving your attitude and…
Judith: That’s right.
Nicola: …good vibes and…
Judith: That’s right. And I think—I tend to think of it as a sort of spiral. You know, there’s a downward spiral, now there’s an upward spiral and you’ve got to—sometimes you have to deliberately notice you’re on the downward spiral and change the energy. And you’re right; there is a lag, there’s a lag, yeah.
Nicola: Yeah, absolutely.
Nicola: Interesting words, Judith, and…
Judith: And yours? What’s yours, darling?
Nicola: TOLERATIONS. We’re back to Thomas Leonard’s Tolerations, because I’ve had a week of tolerations. I’ve had—I was actually quite “Ugh!” last night, because I thought everything—I’m not joking—everything techy was not working. From little things like my Camtasia stopped screen recording because there was an audio glitch with my microphone versus the internal microphone, versus Skype using the microphone, and it—you know, I had to really take myself in hand yesterday and say, “For God’s sake! Stop tolerating these things and just fix them.” And I had to get on the phone to America with Camtasia. It turned out to be a bug in the system that was causing that. I’m signing up with Stripe right now, because—the payment gateway Stripe? Because PayP –I want to use NanaCast with my membership card. PayPal is notoriously unreliable, apparently about ongoing memberships in terms of they run there, they do their cron jobs or whatever it is they do, and sometimes they don’t work. And then your membership site locks someone out when it shouldn’t, etcetera, etcetera. So, Stripe’s much more efficient apparently, but it’s very techy to use, but I’ve got a techie doing my membership site. So he said use Stripe so, I’m trying to sign up for Stripe. It’s really effortlessly easy, apart from the fact where they send, “Confirm your account,” and you hit the button to send the confirmation email to you. It simply never arrives at my inbox. I’ve been wrangling with this for 3 days now and I’ve spoken to their support, and they haven’t replied, and I’m just getting more and more exasperated with it. And that’s the kind of thing I’ve been tolerating this week. Apart from…
I went, I—and I know you’re not going to agree with me again because it’s the same thing as woowoo –I would take that as a sign not to use Stripe.
Nicola: Well, that just knocks out one of the best payment gateways on the market.
Judith: Well, we already had this discussion about Stripe, haven’t we? And funnily enough, somebody mentioned it to me earlier this morning as well and she said, “I’m not going to use Stripe because everybody knows and recognizes PayPal.” But I think—yeah, I—there are lots of things in my life where I’ve had signals like that and I’ve ignored them, and I’ve pushed through and it’s always turn out to be an error.
Nicola: Well we’ll see, won’t we?
Judith: We’ll see.
Nicola: It’s a little—yeah, okay, don’t take—well I will honestly report back on my…
Judith: Okay, okay. [Laughter]
Nicola: And yeah, just little things like: I’m running out of toiletries but can’t be bothered to go around the shop, so you know, I should order it all online. It would’ve come 2 days ago and I wouldn’t be still thinking about it. It’s, it’s so important to zap tolerations when you notice them, because they just take up your mental energy don’t they. And when they pile up like mine have this week, it really is quite exasperating.
Judith: Interesting. I was going to write a blog post about some quite dull domestic systems that I have. You know, I do all my shopping online.
Nicola: Oh please do. [Laughter]
Judith: And when I—when I do things like—my parents taught me this—I do things like: as you take the tube of toothpaste out of the drawer and put it into use, I order another one from McCarvey this week. So I’ve always got one in reserve of everything that I rely on.
Nicola: That’s so good. And I keep thinking about setting up a Tesco order for every week, but I’m worried that one week I won’t be there to let it in?
Judith: I don’t—I don’t automate the order, everything, but I have a system. I have a system for everything, and I thought, “Well, I could write a blog post about that,” because it’s actually quite dull.
Nicola: Not for me, it wouldn’t be. I’d read every word with absolute rippling attention. Please tell me that.
Judith: Last, last, last week you gave me a blogging challenge and I did it the same day, so I might do that one today as well.
Nicola: Well that would be awesome. And Sarah’s gone off to a house sit in Pagan today and I’m very aware that when Sarah’s around, she does make my life run a bit smoother in the household, so you know—lots of little things so I need to get a grip quick. [Laughter]
Judith: Yeah. There was a girl that worked for me forever in my accounting business, called Penny. She was my right-hand person. “Good name for an accountant,” we always used to joke Penny. But she knew how my household ran, and she can run my household for me. And she’s the only person I’ve ever met who could—who was sensitive enough to, you know, to order and have in stock everything I would’ve chosen myself, even to put it in the same place where she knew I kept it.
Nicola: Awww! I dream of a housekeeper.
Judith: I was having a garden party one year, and I sent my niece indoors. She said, “Have you got a headache tablet?” Because it’s a Sunday, she was hungover from the night before. “Yes, go into the bedroom, top floor, on the right.” And she came back and she went,“Oh God, I wish I knew how to put my fingers on everything like that.”
Judith: It’s even—it’s the thing where you put your cotton buds. This morning, my feet were a bit cold even if it’s a lovely hot day, so I’ve got my cashmere—one pair of cashmere socks out of the basement where I keep my cashmere socks. And as I did it I thought, “Oh God, I could say people who wouldn’t know where to put their hand on their only pair of socks.” And I—I’m a little bit smug about it, but it’s just how having a supportive system. And I read Wayne Dyer saying yesterday, you know—he never used to be able to find his keys, until he decided just to make his own mental practice to always put them in the same place.
Nicola: Yeah. I’m pretty good about a lot of things, but yeah, this stuff is—it’s you know, the whole housework stuff, and house ordering stuff, and you know, it just…
Judith: I agree with you very much about tolerations. It’s just deeply draining to step over things that don’t work very well for ages that we need to get around a bit. I think that’s why, going back to my week—why I’m feeling so good is because things like the filing piling up and the accounts not being done make me feel bad.
Nicola: They’re the tolerations definitely, yeah.
Nicola: And you’ve got to keep your mind for the big stuff, you know. You’ve got to keep your mind free of the little niggly things; ready for the big stuff.
Judith: Yes, I think you could create a system around—I’ll put my mind to it, Nicola, to create a domestic management system for you, okay?
Nicola: That’ll be awesome, and I’m sure a lot of entrepreneurs would absolutely love that.